It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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