My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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