My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We are two peas in an std pod
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
