Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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