Heybabeimwearingurpanties
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize