I want to have your abortion
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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