Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
