he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
