I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
we should paint friendship bongs
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