Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
