No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
