season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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