I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
people are starting to question the shark bite story
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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