My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Dignity is for republicans.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
