At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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