There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
