i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize