He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
They are going to name an STD after you.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
