the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
