I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
