I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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