I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize