dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
