i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize