Say something about gay babies.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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