I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize