it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
