i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
