call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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