I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
