i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
