Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
