That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
babies were throwing up all over the place
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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