The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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