Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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