Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
