her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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