my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
