great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
