That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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