Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
