it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
