Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
