evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
