The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I think a kid would responsible me up
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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