It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize