Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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