I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
we made out on top of his cat.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
