I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
