Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
zippers are such a cool invention
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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