oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
