Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize