went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize