Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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