I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
