Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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