Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
