i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
