She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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