I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Michael Bay diarrhea
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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