So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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