i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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