drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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