Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
