All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
