im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
