I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I had to cum in my sink.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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