so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
