Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I didn't shave. On purpose
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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