the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
